“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.They are messengers of overwhelming grief… and unspeakable love.” – Washington Irving –
I wear my heart on my sleeve. I always have. My emotions are very obvious, and what I’m thinking usually shows up on my face. It can be dangerous as I have had a friend or two call me out on what I might be thinking as someone walks by (sorry to say I have had one or two judgmental points in my life).
The one thing that has always been undeniable is that I cry. I cry at everything. I cry when I’m happy. I cry when I’m sad. If I ever get to the point that I am incredibly angry, it comes out in tears. I know when my anxiety has spiked to unhealthy levels when I drive down the street and find myself crying for no reason. When my husband and I started dating and would get into a more serious talk, there came the water works. It totally threw him for a loop – he had no idea what was happening. I would be carrying on a conversation that may not even have been sad or upsetting and yet tears would flow. For me, it was because I was experiencing an overwhelming amount of emotion and those emotions would show in tears.
I think it took him years (and me telling him to ignore the tears) to realize I was actually telling the truth. Honestly, I don’t blame him. How would you like it if you constantly carried on conversations with someone and their body language said something completely opposite of what they were saying? It would be like someone saying they hate tomatoes while sitting and eating them like an apple. Looking back I wonder if he considered having me committed.
But I digress. I am a firm believer that tears, or any emotion for that matter, definitely have its place in this world. I’m not talking about those that bring injury to others: abusive physical, emotional or mental behavior as a result of anger is not healthy and is typically a result of something deeper. No, I’m talking about the emotions that when seen, even for a brief moment, show the rawness of that person. If my tears would have been anything other than an involuntary reaction I would probably have stuffed them down into the deep recesses of myself, but that has never been something I have been able to do.
My assumption, though, is that many of you have certain emotions that you have been repressing for years, for one reason or another. Maybe it is a person in your life telling you it isn’t right, and maybe you have been telling yourself that. But, being raw as a person and expressing who you are is one of the purest things we can be. I find myself comparing this to when we were children. I know we can’t go around throwing temper tantrums like we did when we were three, but can we be happy like we were when we were three? Are you happy now like you were then?
There is sacredness in tears because tears are raw, and always connected to raw emotion. The few times I have seen my husband cry were some of the most incredible moments to me. I fell in love with him even more in those moments because he was sharing with me everything of who he was.
I recently had a conversation with someone who said she had been crying so much and felt so weak because of it that she felt like she wasn’t strong enough to hold it together. It made me so sad because she really needed to have that release in her life. I also realized that tears are often associated with weakness.
What is it in your life that you are not showing? Why? One of the more common things I hear is that people who are always optimistic tend to not live in reality. But who are we to tell that optimist what reality is? Maybe that optimism is reality for that person. If you are someone who constantly tells yourself to “suck it up,” I would encourage you to ask yourself why. Are you boxing yourself up? Tears are not the mark of weakness, but of power.
My hope for you today, and every day, is that you Be You. Fearlessly.